Blood Plus Beer That Can't Be Good
by SavL7
Summary: Kari unexpectedly runs into an Akatsuki member. Trying to prove herself to her village she attempts an risky plan to kill him...if only he wasn't immortal. HidanXOC lemon oneshot


this is the first thing i've completed hahahaha...ik that's sad. anyways this is a oneshot I made for a friend. I hope you guys like it. i won't lie I don't do the best characterziation on Hidan, reason I don't write about him that often, but hope it's still up to standard. Enjoy! Do not own Naruto.

Btw: Kari is my friend's OC not mine.

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Kari walked into the small town's bar a little pissed off. Okay that was an understatement. She was extremely pissed off. She could not believe she was sent on another C-class mission while Team 7 went on their third A-mission this month. Had she not proven herself on the training field. She thought she wiped Sakura in the dirt when they last fought. Again exaggerating she did counter all the boulders she moved to hit her, but still Kari did an amazing job. Sakura just got the better mission cause she was the Hokage's apprentice.

She never could understand the luck of Team 7. They always seemed to be the favorite Team. Yes, she loved Naruto. He was one of the few people who could actually make her laugh, but right now they were chasing after Orochimaru…while she was in this town to deliver message to the leader. Her fist tightened. She wanted that snake under her foot. She would never forget the guard knocking on her door late at night to inform them that Orochimaru had stolen the hidden jutsu. And that unfortunately her father was killed in the crossfire. The greedy snake bastard! He cared more about a jutsu then a life. The objects in the bar began to shake, and people turned their heads to her.

She immediately stopped. Everything went still. Her temper did that to her. It made her loose control of her power. Her chakra was different then most. Instead of being centered in her body it left her falling like a blanket around her. With practice she was able to stretch it out. The best thing was that her chakra was so separated that people couldn't recognize it as a person. She had no need to mask it. She then learned that she could control anything on her chakra and move it.

She walked into the grimy bar ignoring all the staring eyes. She really needed a hard drink. Something that would make her forget that Team 7 was chasing after the man she wanted dead. She sat down on the bar stool and a bald bartender walked over to her.

He had dealt with all sorts of clients, and had given up being afraid of any of them. Even a pink eye girl who could move objects, "What can I get you, miss?"

"A glass of scotch," she answered as she leaned on the counter. She put her head in her hand. What would she have to prove to the Hokage that she was ready for A-rank missions?

The bartender gave her an odd look. The girl was pretty and somewhat petite. Most women ran away from liquor like scotch.

She noticed the man staring and said, "I'm having a bad day. Can you just get me the drink?"

He quickly got her glass of scotch putting a few ice cubes in it, and left her alone. Kari let out a sigh. Of course there would be no cute guys in this town either. She used her chakra to move the cup to her mouth. The taste burned the back of her tongue and her throat as it went down. It felt good. People started staring at the floating glass. She rolled her eyes. That's what happens when you come to a citizens town people aren't use to strange things. She grabbed the glass in her hands, hoping people will go back to there own business.

The door opened and cold wind rush threw. "Fine Kakuzu! If you don't fucking want to waste your crap of money on a good drink then don't. I, however, will do whatever the fuck I want!" a man shouted outside.

She turned her head to the annoying voice and saw…red clouds. Shit. He was an Akatsuki. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. She turned back around to the bar. What was she suppose to do? She had only heard about the Akatsuki. Two had captured Garaa, and supposedly killed him. She took a quick glance. Silver hair. Headband around his neck. He was from the Hidden Village of the Hot Springs. Very nice body, she noted as she looked at his open chest. Stop it, Kari. She turned back around. So he wasn't that blonde one she heard of who used clay bombs. Neither was he the Uchiha or the shark. This obviously was another member they had no information about. Great, just my luck, she thought to herself.

Her heart started to race. What was she suppose to do? She could fight him, but his partner didn't seem that far away. Damn it. Should she just run? No! Sakura had killed an Akatsuki. She could too! She was stronger then Sakura.

She heard the man let out a sigh, "It sure is fucking disgusting in this joint. It smells like crap."

She needed to draw some time. The man walked over to the bar and luckily sat at the other end, "Yo barkeep, get some rum and coke."

She didn't dare look at the man. If he saw her headband, she would immediately be put into a fight. Then it came to her. She sat up and walked quickly to the bathroom that was thankfully on her side of the bar. He only saw her back.

She quickly locked the door. Her breath was fast and her heart even faster. She glanced at the window. She could just run away. No, she was not going to run away. Especially, since she had a plan to kill him. She smirked to herself in the mirror. She pulled her headband out of her bronze red hair with blond highlights. She then looked at her appearance. She needed to look like a citizen. She could do that. She took off her backpack then her ninja vest. She wore a light grey tank top that contrasted with her eyes and a long legged black spandex that were covered by her grey boots. It definitely wasn't civilian clothing at least not from this town, but the tank top being so large on her didn't appear like ninja clothing as well. Normally, she hated that fact because she always had to buy extremely large shirts because her breast would stretch the fabric otherwise. But today it was a good thing. She could look like a civilian traveler.

She put a kunai under her loose shirt. She would surprise him. She then stuffed her headband, weapon belt, and ninja vest into her bag then took a deep breath before unlocking the door. She walked backed out of the bathroom noticing that a few men were eyeing her.

She went straight back to her stool and her scotch acting like nothing had changed. The bartender gave her a strange look, but didn't mention anything. She just needed a way now to get his attention.

"Fuck, barkeep I need another drink. How hard is it to do your fucking shitty job," the man yelled.

She smirked. The guy sure did have a mouth, "Do you always talk like that, or are we just lucky today?" She gave him a slight glance. Her heart was pounding as she spoke, but she kept a calm outward appearance.

The silver hair man glared at her, "When the fuck did it become your business."

"When I was forced to hear your hideous voice," she stated giving her own glare. What was she doing? Her plan was to seduce him, not to piss him off. Gah, she needed to think before she spoke.

The man stood up and walked over to her. Shit. He came very close to her and towered over her back. She turned around to glance at him and was forced to look up to see his gray eyes. "Do you have a fucking clue who I am?" he asked.

"The world doesn't revolve around you…so no I don't," she said turning back to her scotch and taking a drink. She was trying so hard to calm herself. He could kill her at any moment, but if she showed fear then she was sure to loose his attention. And he was almost close enough where she could stab him in the heart. She just would prefer to do that with not so many people around.

She heard the man start to laugh then sit himself in the empty chair next to her. "You know girl I think Jashin might like you," he said staring at her.

"If he's friends with you, I don't think we'd get along," she looked over at him.

He started to laugh a hideous crazy laugh. People all attempted not to look at him, but it was difficult. "You know I can make you bleed all over this shitty place then ask the bartender to clean it up with your hair," he said with dead seriousness.

This guy was a freak to say the least, but she was getting some sort of thrill out of this. She had no doubt he could and would do everything that he said, but it was such dominance. No one spoke to her that way because well she tended to yell back at them. Her heart still was in a speed race, but she was beginning to see this as fun. She leaned over to him, "I'm not afraid of blood."

The smirk that played on his lips was thoughtful and sick. The psychopath was sure thinking of another sick threat, but she was interested to hear it. "You are an interesting character," he said. That was a bit of a disappointment. She wanted another threat…wait what was she saying.

"And you are strange. Now if you mind some space," she said waving him away. She expected him to ignore it. Men could be predictable. He slid his sit closer to hers.

"What's your name, bitch?" he asked as the bartender brought him his rum and coke.

She glared at him, "You going to call me by it?"

He smirked, "Only if you stop being a bitch."

She rolled her eyes, "It's Kari. And yours?"

"Hidan," he said taking a full look at her body. She found it a bit evasive, but again her body got a thrill. He was so straightforward with everything, his words, his body language.

"Eyes up here," she said a bit irritated. The man did need to learn his place though.

"Your eyes might be pretty, but your body is where it's fucking at," he said unashamed. She had never meet a man with literally no filter.

"You're a bit rude…but thanks," she answered.

He turned his whole body towards her forcing her to notice his excellent fit form. His chest was so expose. She could kill him now, and there would be little chance she would miss. "And you're a fucking hypocrite," he stated with an evil smirk,

"What?" she looked up into his eyes.

"Checking me out, and calling me rude," he said, "But it's understandable I am fucking gorgeous."

"Does that line always get woman to sleep with you," she raised an eyebrow.

He laughed, "No, but this usually does." He leaned in close to her ear and whispered, "Fuck me."

She couldn't help, but blush. Again he was just so straightforward unlike all the Konoha boys who played games. He just said what he wanted. As he pulled away her body leaned closer wanting him. Damn, what was she doing? That would have been the chance to stab him. But her body just kept yelling at her to jump this man. She looked at his silver eyes and that knowing smirk. He knew that she wanted him…her blush must have given her a way.

"So?" he asked.

She stood dumbfounded. It then hit her, if she was alone in a room with this man she could easily kill him. She leaned in and kissed the man hard. Maybe, she was just finding an excuse because she was horney as hell, but hey it was true she would be closer to him this way. She bite on his lip before pulling a way. "Sure, why not?" she answered.

He smirked before standing up and pulling on her arm. She was roughly pulled out of the bar as the bartender yelled, "You didn't pay!!"

Hidan just responded, "Fuck you barkeep, you did a shitty job."

He then yanked her to the side and paused for a moment before cursing, "My partners in the fucking room. Just like Kakuzu to ruin a fucking night." She was about to say something, but his eyes seemed to see something. He pulled her to the corner of the bar into an ally….wow pleasant.

He pushed his body on top of hers pressing her against the wall kissing her hard. That distracted her mind from the ally. He pushed his tongue into her mouth and began to rub and play with hers. Her mind got lost in her hormones when she felt the kunai push against her skin. Shit, if he found that. She needed to end this no matter how badly her body wanted him.

She pushed against his chest feeling his hard abs. He was stronger then her, but with her chakra blanket she was able to push him off of her. She gripped tightly onto the cloak turning him around so he was pressed against the wall. Hidan smirked in their kiss as her hands slide up and down his exposed chest. She bite down on his tongue distracting him while she pulled out the kunai and stabbed it into his heart.

She pulled away. She couldn't believe she did it. She actually killed an Akatsuki. She couldn't help the smile that tugged at her lips…until he started laughing.

"Bitch, I'm impressed," he smirked then pulled out the kunai from his heart. Blood dripped from his lips as he spoke, "You can't kill an immortal."

Her mouth fell opened, "Immortal."

"You should have found out what my fucking strengths are before attacking an Akatsuki. A mistake on your part, bitch."

He licked the blood off the side of his mouth as he stepped closer. She stepped back. How? This man was still walking and breathing. How could he be an immortal? "So bitch, you have a choice. You can either become my sacrifice for Jashin or you can fuck me and depending if you're good or not I'll sacrifice you to Jashin."

She stepped back but felt the wall behind her, "That's not much of a choice."

He smirked, "That would be the point." He stepped closer to her only a foot a way.

"I'm going to have to go with neither," she said slamming her chakra against him pushing back.

"What the fuck?" he growled to himself.

She smirked, "Your mistake too was not learning my strength."

He laughed, "Well I knew you were a ninja when I first walked into the bar. It was a nice attempt trying to act a civilian the only reason I fucking played along is I thought I could get some action from it. Who cares if I get stabbed in the process, but yes this little fucking jutsu of yours is a bit fucking annoying."

That destroyed her self-esteem. She had thought she fooled him completely. Whatever, it didn't matter he was trapped. She felt him move. Damn he was strong. She tightened her chakra around him.

"I don't see what you have against me, bitch. You obviously wanted me," he said with a smirk.

Her lips tightened. It annoyed her how he acted like he was the one in control not her.

"I know it's true. Your body just wants me inside of you. Every fucking bitch has wanted me. Doesn't matter how rude I am to them. They always want me. That's the reason women are whores," he tilted his head giving her an evil smile.

She glared at him, "I'm sick of this. You are not in control of me, and I am not your bitch. If anyone were the bitch here, it would be you. Yes, I am a woman, and yes, as other women, my body has urges similar to a man. I will never understand how a man who sleeps with anything that walks is a player while a woman who does the same thing is a whore. If I want to use you to settle my bodies urges I have all fucking right to do it, and not be called a whore!"

Hidan was actually quiet for once. Amazing. He gave her a sly look before responding, "But you won't do anything like that." He laughed.

"Maybe, because that would make me a rapist you moron!" she shouted.

"Or just fucking weak," he spitted out.

She hated that word, and she was frustrated with this man. She walked over to him and kissed him hard. She tasted his metallic blood in her mouth and there tongues swirled together. She pushed off his heavy cloak feeling his strong arms. She was forgetting the situation and feeling her bodies needs. She wanted him. Her hand went to his cloth belt. She quickly ripped it off of him. She was loosing control of her chakra as her hands continued to trace along his well-formed abs.

Before she knew it she was pressed against a wall again. His hands gripped tightly onto her arms as his mouth moved down her chin to her neck. He began sucking and kissing on her soft skin. His hands moved to the edge of her shirt and quickly pulled it off exposing her breast. His eyes lingered there for a moment before he pressed his bare chest up against her. His tongue licked down her collarbone causing her to throw her head back against the wall. His tongue dragged lower licking the harden pecks of her breast. He swirled his tongue along the peck as his hand gripped her other breast roughly. He then wrapped his lips around the peak sucking on it. She gasped in pain as bite down hard. She was sure he broke skin, but the pain brought some sort of pleasure. He sucked the blood from her breast his hands glided lower on her body.

She could feel his harden length against her inner thigh, and she wanted it. Her hands wrapped around his neck and up into his thin silver hair as she waited in painful anticipation.

His hands grabbed the edge of her spandex and pulled them down. She felt the cold air hit her exposed body. It wasn't until she heard voices that she remembered they were out in an ally. But for some reason she didn't even care. People were probably watching, but she didn't care. She just wanted him. He pulled down his own pants as he kissed her hard on the lips once more. He grabbed both of her thighs rubbing her back roughly against the brick wall, but before she noticed the pain he thrusted himself into her. She moaned in pleasure. He bite her lip hard causing her to gasp in pain as he continued pushing himself in and out of her. Her back continued to scratch against the wall, but the mixture of pain and pleasure was just so intense. She felt his blood from where she had stabbed him run along her bare body as he pushed harder into her.

Her nails dug into the back of his neck as he continued to grind deeper within her. She moaned tightening around his length causing him to moan as well. Her nails dragged down his neck to his chest as she arched her back towards him. She felt his blood under her fingertips as he let out small groan. She wrapped her legs around his waist allowing his to push deeper. She was so close. She had never felt something so intense filed with different emotions. She wanted to scream because of the pain, but then the pleasure would once again engulf her. He rammed into her again even deeper causing her to let out a scream of ecstasy as she clawed down his chest. Feeling her body around he followed right after her pushing himself further within her.

They both breathed heavy for a moment before the man smirked, "So bitch does this mean you just raped me?"

She couldn't help it. She smirked at his comment, "Guess so."

He laughed and pulled out of her pulling up his pants. She pulled up her spandex a bit confused about what to do. Should she kill him now…wait he was immortal. He grabbed his cloak and put it back on, "I decided I won't sacrifice you. Only because you caused me enough fucking pain for Jashin to be satisfied." He nodded to his chest.

"Who says I won't kill you or capture you," she hissed.

He smirked, "You won't be able to bitch. No need to try and waste energy. Consider yourself way fucking lucky. I'll be seeing you Kari."

With that he disappeared. He could move that fast the whole time! She really didn't have a clue what she was up against. She decided though that she gained enough information about him that the Hokage would be thrilled. Maybe, even give her some A-rank missions for once. She looked down at the ground in attempts to find her shirt. FUCK! "Hidan! You piece of shit! How fucking dare you take my fucking shirt!!!!"

Hidan watched the girl from the rooftop with a smirk. It was nice to hear her finally cussing. He pushed the shirt into his cloak pocket, and disappeared to find Kakuzu.


End file.
